Make ayatana-appindicator dependency optional

Adding Wayland support made ayatana-appindicator3 a hard requirement,
which breaks on systems without it (the previous tray icon is still
perfectly usable there).

This makes it optional and auto-detected at configure time, falling back
to the tray icon when the ayatana is unavailable.

Also make sure Wayland auto-detection only gets enables when every
Wayland dependency is actually present, instead of leaking the build
flag when an optional dependency is missing.

Fixes #432

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